Sunday, January 24, 2010

Baby Steps

Ok, I admit that the last post was beyond depressing. Unfortunately, I wrote exactly how I felt that day. I'm pleased to report that I was productive on Saturday. I tried to stick to my weekend routine. I actually dragged my butt to the gym for a solid hour and a half. I showered, cleaned my room, and ran errands. That evening, the Mercy Volunteer Corps came over and we played some games. It was fun and I'm glad they came. Originally, before I went out for my errands, I didn't want to do anything Saturday night except write and sleep.

I have these mini-rituals regarding my Mom Mom. I'm not ready to remove her picture from my facebook profile yet. I am not ready to wear the jewelry she left for me. I don't eat the peppermints that are in this small flowerpot with our pictures on it. I wear the charm bracelet she gave me in in 2004 everyday. The items I have from her house rest in a pile on my floor. I look at them often, even show them to my community, but I don't move them from the pile. Today at mass I think I endured the last round of "I'm so sorry for your loss." I appreciate every sentiment of sympathy from everyone but I will admit it hurts to hear those words.

This week is another full and busy week at work. I'll be expected to perform top notch work and I'll do my best to do so. The work occupies my mind so hopefully it will be to my advantage. This week is full of meetings and programs.

In other news I've had horrible stomach cramping all day. I have no idea what the pain is. Perhaps I have caught some sort of stomach bug or something. I don't know. I'm going to let it run its course unless it gets really painful. Then I'll seek medical attention. Honestly, I don't have the money for more medication right now. I have to wait for the stipend to come in at the beginning of Feb.

So I'll take baby steps to normalcy. Life is not over for us, it has merely changed. Mom Mom isn't physically present but rather present everywhere all the time. Here's to charging through this week with spirit and strength.

Until next time....

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