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Showing posts from 2009

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

Merry Christmas to all! Today is Christmas day, a day that I feel like I've been waiting for, for quite some time. It isn't because I was excited about presents or that Christmas is my favorite holiday. (I enjoy it but it isn't...the 4th of July is my favorite holiday haha). I think it has something to do with attending Advent prayer every Sunday night for the past four weeks. There is a heavy focus on "waiting." Waiting for the birth of Christ, waiting to spend some quality time with my family, waiting for a break from work.

Christmas was nice. While my mother kept apologizing for "lack of presents," I worked hard to make sure my family had a great Christmas present wise. "It isn't much dear, I'm sorry," my mother said. I really didn't mind. All I wanted for Christmas was Greys Anatomy Season 5 and I got it. I also got a beautiful dress, some clothes, a nice blanket made for my college graduation, a photo album and a pillow. I am …

Spirit of Christmas

I think my four Christmas seasons at College came and went due to finals. Christmas was a blur, a single day to enjoy gifts, God and seafood. (My family has a traditional seafood Christmas dinner). This Christmas is different. While, I really don't think I got into Advent as much as my peers and the Sisters did, I did feel that certain warmth and joy that comes with the season.

Exhibit 1: I've never ever for as long as I can remember, gotten my grandmother something on my own. My family will get her a sweatshirt or a picture frame or a movie each Christmas. It isn't because I don't care, or don't love her. No, it is because she is 86 and she doesn't need/want anything. This year I originally got her a book on WWII, but then my mother had told me she wanted that book. My mother NEVER asks for anything for Christmas. I have no clue what to get her...ever. So I was stunned that she spoke up with interest in the book. I decided to give her the book and find somethin…

Let's take a look back,shall we?

It has been almost four months since I began my adventures with Redeemer Ministry Corps. I endured with joy the honeymoon stage where everything seemed in perfect harmony. Then I fell into reality where life wasn't perfect all of the time but it wasn't bad either. My body had to adjust to waking up early (for me) five days a week and working 8-12 hours a day. In 3.5 almost 4 months I have changed a lot. The biggest change is physical, for I am now happy to report to the world that I have lost a total of 20lbs. It is starting to really show on the outside. This rapid weight loss is due to working out three days a week and trying to eat somewhat healthy or healthier than I have been in the past. My hair is a lot longer and is almost half light brown and half blond for my roots continue to grow each day. I think I have grown in flexibility and adaptability. My position at Project Rainbow did not exist until I became a full time volunteer here. Now I'm not sure this facility c…

Mirror Mirror on the Wall....

...what does my future hold, if anything at all?

-corny I know. (and to think I call myself a writer).

Tomorrow I'll be headed to a meeting at the School District of Philadelphia to learn more about the resources we have to improve homeless children's' education. Part of me is like, woah, I've got another meeting at the School District of Philadelphia, I'm a grown up! The other part of me is like woah, the School District of Philadelphia headquarters is right next to the Philadelphia Inquirer building.

What am I going to do as I pass the Inquirer to go to my meeting?

Stare at it. For approx. 15 seconds and sigh.

I really don't understand the point of living in the present. I know it has something to do with realizing what you've got and not what you can attain. The one thing I struggle with the most in this program is figuring out what to do after it. I'm not in a rush to get out of here. If anything, I wish I could sign up for an additional year. I don'…

I'm Thankful for Fiber, Alcohol and Family

Dearest friends, it is that time of year again the "Holiday Season." While my time here in PA has brought me many new adventures it has also brought me new experiences. For example, I suffered from a severe bout of homesickness yesterday. It finally sunk in that I would not be spending Thanksgiving with my family. My friends called to see if I would be coming home and I had to break it to them that I wouldn't be. My family thought it would be weird that I wouldn't be home but they were ok with it. Stephen's family were coming down to visit and Connie was going to work all day so it was going to be me... Well me and the whole community. I started off the morning rocking my red dress with a black shirt over it making it a red skirt. Then I wore calf high boots and my grey scarf I recently bought. I looked cute if I do say so myself. At mass I was the second reader which was nice and afterwards I met Stephen's whole family. Then I took my seat with some of my fav…

............

I don't know what to put as my clever title. I don't know what this picture means. I don't know much because I am just so unsure. Right now my mood is calm and indifferent. I'm not overly happy and I'm not overly sad. I'm not stressed out but I'm not bored. I'm not feeling great but I'm not feeling crappy either. I am a bit tired both emotionally and physically. I've been trying to spend the past few days re-evaluating my purpose in life. Or rather, trying to remember the signs and steps that got me into this volunteer program. I read my reflections from when I was trying to figure out what ministry site I wanted to be placed in. My initial concerns with working at the transitional housing program in the city were: 1) being so busy that I wouldn't be able to visit the Mother house and the Sisters who I became good friends with 2) being in an unstructured facility where I would have to be my own boss, push forward without waiting for constant…

I Am My Own Punching Bag

I am my own punching bag. Apparently.

Work has been presenting me with some difficult situations that involve delegation and standing up for myself. There is this new program that some co-workers want me to start but they also expect me to run it too. I'm feeling stretched out sometimes like these people don't realize I am a full time volunteer. After one situation I spent the morning planning on how to defend myself from having to put in way more hours than I'm expected to. I did this instead of trying to find a solution to the problem which was: work with what you have and go from there. No, I'm too busy preparing a defense of how I'm not superwoman and instead I missed the most logical, practical, in your face solution. Additionally, I have spent all my time bitching about this new program instead of taking it for the team and trying to find the positive aspects of it. Therefore I come off as a bitchy, whiny maggot who crumbles under pressure and can't think…

Partly Cloudy

I wrote a facebook life update about the past month or so. After reading it, I realized that it is so incredibly happy go lucky and positive that it is almost not realistic. While yes, I've been doing pretty well at work and at home and in life in general, but there have been some struggles too.

Yesterday I had to be at work at 8am because Stephen has to be in work early to help our nurses. I came into work not feeling my best and knowing it would be a very long day. I was right. I did a developmental assessment in the morning and ran around like crazy throughout the day. I even had a "working lunch" where I worked and ate at the same time. I went to a really long staff meeting and then had to get ready to teach my class about emotions at 4pm. It was 3:45 and for some reason I had it in my head that I would start teaching at 4:30. I played a game of solitaire to calm my nerves only to remember at 4:15 that my class was supposed to start at 4pm! So I rushed over, late, to …

5 lbs to Freedom

It has been 1.5 weeks since I started my diet. I have cut out just about all white breads, soda, most candies/cookies/sweets, and things that could be fattening. I have not become a counting calorie individual but rather a calorie aware individual. I'm trying to always be aware what is going into my mouth/stomach. I have learned the following:

I can't believe its not butter spread 50 cal and 50 cal from fat. IT IS ALL FAT! Stupid "healthy" butter.....

Mayonnaise...we know its not good for you...90 cal and its 90 cal from fat. IT IS ALL FAT TOO! So you might just as well spread a bottle of lard onto your sandwich.

You burn calories sitting, eating, showering, sleeping, talking and typing! Its not a lot, but yes, you do burn calories while doing these activities.

8 glasses of water a day goes a long way!

This is pretty much all I have learned the past week and a half. In good news, I have officially lost 5 lbs. According to the doctor, I have to lose 50lbs...well...45 more …

Life Updates are Always Good

Life Updates are Always Good. My last post was one of self pity about halfway through September. Yes, I got news I had to lose 50lbs to not die. Well life got worse as the weeks went on. Two weeks ago my grandmother suffered a TIA, it is a mini stroke. She was mixing up her words and speaking nonsense. It scared the hell out of me. Saturday night I was having a friend over for a "girls night" with Connie at our house. I'm driving home from the grocery store and I call my mom to tell her about my super sweet bargains. My mom tries to work the news into the conversation but ultimately my dad interrupts and says "Mom Mom is in the hospital." It takes everything in me not to pull a U-turn on the Pike and drive down to Cape May at that moment. After they explained the situation to me about 100 times, I understood my grandmother was on the phone with my Aunt and started speaking gibberish. My Aunt and Uncles rushed to her house and called 911. She was put in the ER b…

50lbs

Yesterday I went to the hospital's gym for my gym orientation. As a facility supervisor and fitness instructor of a college gym, I already knew how to work most of the equipment so I spared the trainer that agony of explaining how you can increase the incline on a treadmill. What I did need help with was the weights. They have a significantly older Cybex weight system which is almost intimidating. Even though I knew the general mechanism of a rear dealt fly and a back extension, I needed a brief tutorial on how to work these aged machines. They work great, I just need to adjust to them.

Now, I'm known for being a very open person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't hold back. I will now discuss a topic of sensitive concern to me.

Yesterday I went to the hospital's gym for my gym orientation. I received my fitness assessment from late August. It told me my strength was above average for a girl my age. That is great. It also told me that I have 40% body fat when I sh…

Becoming a Young Professional

Greetings! So life has been quite peachy. I'm adjusting just fine to just about everything. This holiday weekend I got to meet up with other volunteers in the Philly area and we even went out for a night on the town. Basically we went to a bar called the Tattooed Mom, decorated ears of corn to make them look like little people and enjoyed $1 16oz Pabst throughout the evening. Yes, it was classic. All of this took place on Philly's South Street which is known for many things. The Tattooed Mom was unlike anything I've ever seen. The first floor was chic and eclectic and the second floor was covered in graffiti and crazy decorations. It was a really nice place and I want to go back there some time.

Anyway, I'm currently becoming a young professional. I'm learning how to guide my own projects, make my own packets, and really pioneer programs. There are moments where I'm sitting at my desk in my office going 'wow....I'm grown up.' I know that sounds stupi…

Happy Birthday To Meeee

22 years on this Earth and I can tell you it has been a rocky and crazy road. Today was a really special birthday. (I'm writing this on the 25th but just pretend it is the 24th).

I woke up to having french toast made for me by my two fellow volunteer friends. They made me a special birthday breakfast. Then I started my first day of work, meeting new people and learning about my job. I have an office! How about that. It feels so weird being in the real world with offices and work and no class or parties.

Oh, backing up a bit, Sunday was really special. We had our Missioning Liturgy and it was awesome! We were congratulated and welcomed into the whole Redeemer community. We had to give mission statements to the congregation and everything. I loved it! We got special blessed crosses and candles. It was a day full of memories.

Now, fast forward to Monday. So I went to work and left around 4:30. I came home and my community made me my favorite dinner as a surprise! (Hot dogs, mac and chee…

A Whirlwind of Happiness

How in the world do I sum up the past week for you in this blog? I don't think it is possible so I'll try to hit the high points as best I can. I know a lot of people have been wondering if I was still alive but honestly I've been so busy with orientation, moving in, and transitioning that I haven't had a chance to update anything. On top of that, the computer in our community isn't set up yet so I have to find creative ways to get on computers. Connie has one I use sometimes, the Sisters Mother House has one. Usually I can only get on for small periods of time. I write to you now from a hospital. Yes, a hospital. I live about two buildings over and they have a 24 hr computer lab. So I can spend as much time in here as I want.

Ok, let me find a starting point. Well, I arrived on Sunday and it was pretty fast paced day. My aunt, uncle and cousins had lunch at the Mother house and we got a really warm welcome. It was really nice. Turns out one of the Sisters knows my …

I'm a Spectacle in All Forms

I didn't get to drive my car for the last time and realize it. The day I was going to do this my dad came in the house holding my tags in his hand. He did me a favor, really, but I was hoping to take one last drive around the old neighborhood. I didn't get to go walking with my mom because she didn't go walking that morning. I also added one more bag to my collection of luggage.

That is all well and good. I got to hang out with Beth and Clay for a bit. It was hard to say goodbye to them. I really feel like this whole week has been nothing but goodbyes. Additionally everyone is playing tug a war on my heart. Everyone wants me to stay but I can't. I did see a funnel cloud outside my house last night. That made my heart race and pound in my chest. A tornado was coming right towards us! Then the wind changed directions and it vanished. It was incredible. I have some good pictures of the little funnel cloud before it went away. My God it was beautiful. Yes, a tornado was bea…

Let's Go

On Thursday morning I will get into a car with my parents. Two purple suitcases one giant orange duffel, one small black rolling duffel, one Vera Bradley medicine travel bag and a blue book bag will be placed into the trunk of a Silver Ford Taurus. For two and half hours we will drive to a certain ferry which leads to a certain birthplace of yours truly. After a wholesome lunch with my Aunt, cousins and grandmother, my family will drive that Silver Ford Taurus back home and I will board a certain ferry with the other half of my family.

On Sunday morning I will get up early and pile two purple suitcases, one giant orange duffel, one small black rolling duffel, one Vera Bradley medicine travel bag and a blue book bag into a Dodge Ram van where my Aunt will drive me to my new residence for the next year in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I will unpack said suitcases and bags in my quaint little room in a convent. At 2pm I will report to the start of Orientation where I will be orientated int…

Breakaway

I suppose I'm still in a Kelly Clarkson mood. I keep listening to her song "Already Gone" and "Walk Away." Why? Because both of those titles are going to apply to me in 6 days. That is right 6 days. Everyone wants to hang out with me before I go. My friends want to spend everyday with me until it is time for me to depart. My parents, want me to spend time with them in their own special way. (Me being productive around the house of course). Me? What do I want? I kind of want to just lay down in a dark room and fall asleep to songs about leaving and change and a new life. Its funny, all this time I had been so eager to get the hell off the Shore, start my new real world life in Philly and make new friends and have new adventures. I wrote this poem which reflects my feelings:

I was always focused on the future
Never worrying about the past
Racing through life with no regrets
Never caring as the days went by fast
So set on jumping the cliff
Into adventure and what life c…

My Life Would Suck Without You

When I woke up around noon yesterday, I had no idea that I'd be spending my evening with my two best friends at the Delaware State Fair watching Kelly Clarkson in concert. Yeah, I had no idea. But Beth called and asked me if we were still going to meet up at 1pm to hang out. Then Clay called and invited me to the concert with Beth. I figured there was no way I could go considering I have $20 to my name right now. I mean concerts are things you plan on going to, not things you just wake up and decide to go to that night. Believe it or not, everything worked out and I was able to go. Clay generously paid my ticket and state fair admission as a graduation present. It was literally the perfect day.

I rushed to pack some things so I could stay with Beth that night, making traveling easier on both of us. First we had to stop by her friend's house because her friend, this nice Korean lady's mom passed away. I knew her kind of on an acquaintance level so this whole setting was a li…

Realization Of

This morning I woke up feeling sick. My head hurt, my stomach hurt and I felt like I was going to puke. I also felt really dizzy and weak. It was a horrible feeling. I was hoping to wake up and walk 3.5 miles with my mom this morning like I did yesterday. That plan failed. I slept until about noon and finally got up and showered and attempted to iron some clothes. I felt better after a shower and I feel almost 100% better now. I am wondering if maybe I'm having a bad reaction to the antibiotics. I have a cyst that I'm trying to get rid of. Gross and TMI, I know. So I'm taking amoxicillan for it. I've taken this type of antibiotic before and never had an adverse reaction to it. This sickness is sudden and kind of a freak thing. At least I feel a bit better now.

So my additional news. Most of you know this but for those that don't, I have been accepted into RMC!!!! Officially! Orientation is August 16th. I have a week long orientation and my first day of work is my …

Let the rest of my life begin

New Jersey was great! I arrived on Friday afternoon and was greeted by my grandmother, aunt, and two cousins at the Ferry. I couldn't believe how much my cousins have grown. Laura is 11 and Johnny is 7. We kind of relaxed a bit on Friday, taking in the day to do a few errands and such. That night we rented a movie, Session 9. It was ok but it could have been scarier. One of the things I love about going to New Jersey to visit family is that I get spoiled like a child. I get soda, sweets, cable, and we rent scary movies every night. I mean I suppose I could do that here except my parents eat pretty healthy, soda is limited, we don't have cable so we have to watch the movies we have all the time. I really got to bond with Laura over her Spanish summer worksheet. It was fun because we developed a lot of inside jokes out of it.

Sunday was memorable (I'm skipping around). I got up early and went to church with the family. Afterwards we had brunch at McDonalds and returned back t…

Epic Proportions

There are several things on my mind this evening. The first is just me noticing the jargon of today. Five years ago I did not use the following phrases:

totes = totally "I'm totes going to say that"
sketch= shady "That party was so sketch"
lolz= haha "Then he tripped. Lolz" (pronounced lull-zzzz)
FML = f*** my life "I had such a bad day. FML"
shiz = stuff "I have to pick up my shiz at the house"
biddy= hag or female dog "You ol' biddy you"
I'm just saying - (self explanatory)
sweet = cool "That game was so sweet"
most def = definitely "Most def, I'll be there"
stoked = excited "I'm so stoked for the weekend"
for real(z) = seriously? "I'm going to the Outer Banks for realz this time.
FAIL= something didn't go right "I tried to ask this guy out but he walked away before I could approach him. FAIL."
Epic = great "This weekend is going to be of epic proportions. OR …

Wishing and Hoping and Waiting and Pacing

I haven't posted in few days because nothing interesting has happened to me lately. I still do not have a job. I am still fighting with my parents almost every day. I still haven't heard from RMC about whether or not I'm accepted. I've done chores to prepare for my cousins' arrival. My dad's nephew and his family are coming to stay with us until Sunday. This will be a good time. It means a surplus of food and treats, unlimited sodas, perhaps some beer, and family fun for like three days. We're talking carnivals, state parks, watching movies. Seeing my grandmother and Aunt in New Jersey and having my dad's nephew come visit are the closest I get to family gatherings or family fun. I have a decently sized family too.

There is my mom who is one of five kids. My grandmother on her side is my only living grandparent. So I have three uncles and one aunt from my mom's siblings. Then of course almost all of them are married so that's more aunts and uncl…