So today was Thanksgiving and after a delicious meal and a traditional Thanksgiving movie, my family and I decided to venture out into the world of Gray Thursday. Now, this was all my doing because a) I love to shop and b) I enjoy competition. I got dressed in my motorcycle boots and army dress, ready for anything. I even listened to some music to pump me up (just for fun).
"It’s not that serious" my parents said. They rolled their eyes and joked about leaving the house so late (7:30pm).
Oh, but it was that serious. The parking lot was full. We had to park next door at the YMCA. I ran ahead, walked into the store, and BOOM. The ENTIRE EASTERN SHORE OF VIRGINIA was in the store. I grabbed a cart and headed towards the Tupperware. I soon realized that wasn't happening. So I ditched the cart and continued to find the Tupperware. That was the main thing I wanted. I soon found it and then tried to locate other items.
You had to get a ticket to get a TV. There were people huddled near pallets of dvd players and blu ray players. Fights nearly broke out. I really wanted the 1 Terabyte external hard drive which was on sale for $59 at 10pm. I couldn't find out where they would be selling it so I decided to check where hard drives normally are sold. Sure enough I found the sucker sitting on a shelf! I grabbed it and waiting until 10pm to pay for it.
During the wait, I tried to secure a $20 printer for my parents and a big flash drive for myself. I planted myself against a pallet thinking that people would have to knock me out of the way if they wanted to get one (unless they were a store employee in which I'd kindly get out of the way). I really wanted two flash drives because they were on sale but I couldn't get the printer and the flash drives. So I made friends with a guy who got the flash drives for me and I got a printer for him. It was a fair trade. At one point a pallet of phones was removed from our area and placed at a different location. Fortunately with the pallet, went all the people looking for the phones.
Being the awkward magnet of odd, this short little guy comes up to me and says hello.
I said hi, because a lot of people say hi as they try to squeeze by. Yeah, shouldn't have, because this invites him to have a conversation with me about where I'm from, what I do, did I come to the Shore alone, what kind of movies do I like, la de da
He actually kind of hugs me and puts his hand on the small of my back and tells me to have a great Thanksgiving. I want to be like "SHUT UP I'M STALKING THESE PRINTERS" and I was trying to watch my guy on the flash drives so I didn't have time for chit chat.
At about 9:55, someone started ripping through the plastic of one of the boxes. "NO IT IS NOT 10 o’clock" the employees shouted. So they put the merch back but a few seconds later, everyone started ripping through shit. Naturally I joined in, I mean...if I sat back and watched everyone I wouldn't get the printers. I managed to get the printers and the guy got my flash drives. I was so thankful to get out of that section, for people were getting crazy and the short guy was probably about to ask me out on a date. After buying my goods, I went to fetch the car since it was far and I walk the fastest. On my walk to the car, a bunch of guys slowed down and hollered at me "Hey mama, don't walk so hard. I'd eat that ass up." In my ever classy way I yelled back "thanks anyway, but I'm a lesbian." Needless to say, I didn't get a response. I should have said I was married because in small town USA, my false comebacks could be spread around as fact. Oh well, I was tired and cold.
So nothing like getting hit on. Getting bumped into. Fighting to get cheap deals and wishing everyone a "Happy Thanksgiving" along the way. (Except to the ignorant woman who was pushing past everyone even when a woman in a wheelchair was waiting to get by). Crazy, that one Wal-mart on the Eastern Shore.
I made away with a portable Ipod stereo, my hard drive, my flash drive, some shirts, a few dvds and a convection oven and of course....my beloved Tupperware. I'm not sure if I'll be going out tomorrow for Round 2, but if I do...I doubt it will be as crazy. :)
Until next time...
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