Skip to main content

The Young Mother

First let me extinguish your current suspicions. I am not pregnant. :) This post is sociology related.

A certain situation has happened to me not once but twice. It is thought provoking, amusing and in a way kind of sad. I was talking with a young mother today and somehow the topic of birthdays came up with her kids. I told them I would be 23 years old this year. The mother, whose age I can not recall, said to me "do you have any kids?" "No," I responded. She responded with something like "Oh, you don't want any?" To which I wanted to reply "No, I do want kids but I really want a stable job and a husband before I have kids." Of course I did not say this because I would never blame or offend someone for their life choices.

This same thing happened to me a few months ago. Again, the mother assumed I didn't want kids because I was 23 and didn't have any. If anything, working with children has made me want to have kids even more so than before! I totally want to raise kids and have my own family. The very thought of it excites me. Yet the thought of a promising career as a social worker and a writer excites me too. I want to establish myself in my field and find a great husband before the kids enter the world.

So it kind of depresses me that a lot of these mothers think it is normal to have their first child at 15, 16 and 17 and have four or five kids by the time they are my age. In their eyes, I'm not interested in having kids since I'm 23 and single and childless. This doesn't offend me in the least but just sparks some thought provoking sociological ponderings.

I'm making different choices than they are.

Until next time...

Comments

  1. As a counterpoint to this, I work with what sounds like a similar demographic, except that mine are 12-15. They also assume because I am 23 and childless that I am not going to have kids. It's scary, because they are almost at the age when their mothers, aunts, sisters, and friends starting having children. And while I shouldn't judge, part of what we are trying to do here is breaking the cycle. Which means I am making a statement about which choices are better. It makes my life complicated.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Looks like we are looking at a different set point for normalcy. In my case, I will probably be in my thirties before I even have a chance at having kids. This is following the pattern set by my own mother and aunts. Before you can break the cycle of young motherhood, it seems like you almost have to entirely re-write what they think of normal. Does that make sense? And yes, I know I am posting nearly a month after the last comment. We're coming off of lent! Give me some slack!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You are Destined for Greatness

I pondered the idea of writing "You are Destined for Greatness" and taping it to my bathroom mirror. It sounds like an incredibly cheesy idea straight out of a self-help book, but I thought it was worth trying. Upon further relfection of this idea, I realized it would fail. Not because I would laugh at that statement daily, but rather, I take 100 degree showers. So the ink would run and the paper would crinkle. Plus, I need the whole mirror to examine myself in the morning anyway.

What is greatness? Is it the attribute of world leaders and life changers, or is it a quality in which we can all possess? Is greatness a thing we strive for? Does the prospect of greatness motivate us?

I think it may motivate me. In high school, countless people told me "Mary Anna, you are going places." "Mary Anna, you're going to do big things." "Mary Anna, you're going to be somebody big someday." I'm trying to capture some of that high school MAness …

7 Days Down...23 to Go #Whole30

I survived my first week of #Whole30 with only 3 minor cheats (all accidental). The first, I mentioned in a previous post was the Starbucks coconut milk that is not compliant. Didn't know, wasn't that much milk, everything is fine. The second cheat occurred when I went out to eat with my friend David. I got steak and eggs for dinner, a compliant meal with a side of sauteed mushrooms. The mushrooms are typically compliant except when they are sauteed in garlic and butter. Butter is a no no. So to my horror, my delicious mushrooms were drenched in butter. I literally blotted each mushroom on a napkin before eating it. 

The third and final cheat was a oversight cheat. I ordered a Cobb salad for lunch yesterday with my friend. I can eat all the things in the Cobb, granted I should have asked about where the bacon came from/how it was prepared and read the menu better. I said no to dressing which was fine but I failed to notice the delicious salad comes with crumbles of cheese! Not …

Holy Shit, August.

This month seems nothing short of incredibly. I mean, seriously. It may have been the best month of my life and that is no exaggeration. Let's recap:

August 6
On August 6th my best friend David and I went to see Phillip Phillips and Goo Goo Dolls in concert at Festival Pier. We got there early but a line had formed all the way to Dave and Busters. I thought for sure we'd be stuck in the back of the concert crowd but upon entering the venue I learned that only two full rows had formed (it was GA). I snagged us a spot in row 3/4 a little to the right of the stage. It was perfect. We're going to make it a point to go see them every year. Such a fun concert! 

August 12
I bought tickets months ago but didn't have any friends available for this magical weekend. It was a party bus day trip to Atlantic City. Within the first 20 minutes of the bus ride I had made some friends. I knew the hostess but that was it. Unfortunately after some imbibing I found I was way more interested in…