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A few posts ago, I ranted about the velocity in which my friends are getting engaged, married, and popping out children. Today I will focus strictly on a rant regarding popping out children and of course, a philosophical take on FaceBook.

Every 20-something is going through this phase where pregnancies among one's social group is now a normal thing. I mean, let's face it...everyone is having babies. Its kind of funny, lately I think I'm being stalked by pregnant people I don't know. I think its because I'm hyper aware of pregnant women these days. Last night I had a dream about my pregnant college bestie (who is due a few days before my birthday). Pregnancy is EVERYWHERE.

Clearly that study on the news stating the US birth rate is declining was WRONG.

Anyway, it or hate it, our society is ADDICTED to it. You stalk people from Kindergarten to see if they're hot or follow your college friends and post annually on their wall for their creepily check out family members...etc. But Facebook is a megaphone for good news. See, users can filter the bad shit out of their lives and only post positive things on Facebook. This makes viewers believe that individual's life is PERFECT.

Think about it, you're on Facebook and all you see are pictures from vaycay in Europe, your ex-roomate's hot boyfriend, a very extravagant wedding, oh...yes...and ultrasound pictures with status updates like "OMG +1 SO EXCITED" followed by 50+ comments which all say "holy shit, congratulations"

Now, what you may not know about your "friends" who seem to have it all is that their dear Aunt Susan has cancer (unless they status a prayer request) or that their trip to Europe has now put them in a state of debt where they have to move back in with their parents. Or that their hot boyfriend just cheated on them with another guy. These are the updates you DON'T get to see on Facebook, rightly so because that's not classy.

So, back to babies. I have a point I swear. When damn near all your friends are posting positive pregnancy test pictures and ultrasound pictures of tiny fetus like peanuts or using the famous BABY TRACKER APP which states "3 baby is the size of a pencil eraser omg" you start to I doing something wrong?

There is an age old experiment where people get in an elevator and face the back wall. The one person that isn't in on the joke feels self-conscious and is like "but the doors are here...." Pressured by the need to conform, that person faces the back wall as well. They don't want to be an outsider and perhaps the wall facing riders know something he or she does not.

Conformity. We're at an era where people are having kids in their 20s and that is great, however Facebook makes it seem like EVERYONE IS DOING IT which is not so great. I have a decent salary paying job, I live in a 1 bedroom apartment in Center City Philadelphia, I'm in graduate school studying a craft I love and the only baby I see myself having anytime soon is my writing career....but am I doing it wrong? Like, should I be trying to nail down a man and pop out kids? DID THE INTERNAL BABY CLOCK SPEED UP AND NO ONE TOLD ME???? I'm in the elevator, knowing the doors open to the front but wondering why everyone is staring at the back wall.

Fear not friends, I am not going to go out and get knocked up. The majority of my "friends" who are preggers are actually in love with someone and want to raise a family. I'm in love with Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee and I want to raise the world's awareness of myself. But it does make you wonder.

In my engagement rant post I stated I'll probably be that drunk grandmother sneaking martinis before noon...but perhaps I'll be that woman that has no family but many lovers. I'll have an annual lover name Gustavo who I hook up with every time I go to Italy. I won't get married....(or divorced) and I won't have to support kids (just my Boxer dog, Bronx and parents). I'll write until I die, drink until my liver gives out, and try a lot of things that my soon to be homemaker friends will never experience until their kid go to college. That sounds good to me.

Until next time...


  1. MA,
    We are, not surprisingly, the same in mindset on this one. I think we will definitely have our time...but there is too much life to live for us to start having babies before we conquer the world.

    And my Baby Acting Career wants a play-date with your Baby Writing Career.

    PS you'd be an awesome mom :)


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