Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Reverse Your Own Psychology

Forgive me for the vague and potentially rambling nature of this post. It is important, though.

When you're struggling with a math problem and you just can't figure out the answer, sometimes you have to take a break and tackle it after clearing your mind for a bit. Sometimes when you're writing a paper or a story, you get writer's block and you have to get up, walk around, run some errands, and come back to your assignment.

Relationships, friendships, human interactions are like that too. Sometimes we do stupid things that we think will help us reach insignificant goals. We use manipulative tactics, we talk around issues, we hint and nudge to get an outcome we think we deserve. The reality is, that never works and the other party(ies) catch on really quick.

The best thing you can do is realize the problem starts with you. You are the problem. There are a multitude of experiences in your life that have hard wired you to have certain problems but you can fix your current situation. How? You take a step back. You give up on your demands and just walk away for a minute, clear your head, see how you're feeling. You can not change, fix, manipulate or force another party to think, act, do what you want. But you can change, fix, manipulate and force yourself to alter your perspective and make a glaring need appear insignificant.

When you step back, back down, walk away for a second....something amazing happens. You think you're relinquishing control of the situation. You think you're giving up, but you are not. In fact, you are empowering yourself. You gain more control by stepping down than you do attacking your needs head on. (In most cases). Obviously if say, you thought you deserved a raise...backing down and walking away won't get you what you want. This tactic is primary effective in human relationships.

Sometimes doing the opposite of what seems logical, actually gets you the outcome you wanted all along. Who knew it was that easy?

Until next time....

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