Friday, August 30, 2013

Adventures of the Morning Commute



Most days my morning commute to work is quiet without incident. I usually have my routine of the elderly lady that loves to talk to me at the bus stop, panhandlers on SEPTA and the occasional "I got hit on at 8:30am story." I was hoping after using my last Dunkin Donuts coupon for August that me and my latte would have a quiet venture into work. The Market-Frankford EL proved to be quiet and uneventful. But that all changed when I reached my stop.

I'm pretty tired and very lazy in the morning. So when I depart the EL, I like to look out for the trolley that literally carries my lazy ass about three blocks from work. I get to work faster, I don't arrive a sweaty mess and I get to just sit for a minute. However, the trolley is typically full of characters for it services a stop which is near a methodone clinic. Ergo, I usually can't ride the trolley without an incident.

I got off the EL this morning and was so happy to see the trolley parked and letting on passengers. It is usually quite the joy to see the trolley waiting on the street. However, recently due to construction further down the transit line, the trolley has been replaced by a bus. The trolley can seat about 50+ passengers easily. The bus accommodates about 35 and that is with every seat being taken. I only ride this thing for about four stops so I don't mind standing near the doors or in the aisle. The bus I take to get to the EL is always packed in the AM so I've grown accustomed to maneuvering back and forth in the aisle to let people through.

Welp. Trolley/Bus was PACKED this morning and as soon as I stepped on I regretted my decision to be lazy. I took a stance in the aisle, carefully cupping my Dunkin Ds cup because it was dripping condensation and I wasn't about to drip all over someone. While trying not to back my ass up in anyone's face or drip Dunkin dew on passengers, I got a little too close to one set of passengers.

Let me clarify. My purse which is not heavy nor protruding barely tapped an elderly man on the shoulder. His daughter sort of wrapped her arm around his shoulder and gave me the most hateful death stare I've ever seen. I'm like, "Really lady? You're going to give me a death glare because my bag grazed your dad's shoulder? Is he injured? NO. So turn your shade off and leave me alone." I didn't say that but I wanted to.

I decided to take the one empty seat by some guy who was covering his ears as if to prevent the voices from being heard. A group of ladies behind the dad/daughter duo gave me side eye for sitting down. They were sitting, I don't know what I did to deserve that but whatever. A lot of hate on this trolley.

Approximately one stop later, a woman gets on with a kid and a stroller. The stroller is compact but its slung haphazardly over her shoulder. As she attempts to sit she actually smacks me with the stroller wheels. Like, I would be eating stroller wheels if I hadn't blocked my face and let it roll along my nice clean arm instead. For real? Daughter chick is giving me hate glare for tapping her dad's shoulder with my bag and this lady just ran her effin stroller along my arm! No apology nothing. I could be that person that cusses her out or gives her a DEATH glare but I was in a reverse pay it forward mood so I wanted to stop the progression of morning hatred. I sat silent. I did however muse what would go down if stroller lady innocently hit grandpa's arm with the stroller. I bet daughter would go ballistic.

Finally my stop came but stroller lady's friend was blocking my exit and clearly had no intention to move. So I attempted a back door exit which failed. The back door was blocked by three people, two of which were rather large women standing on either side of the door. They did not move. I said a nice "excuse me ladies" and they made a poor attempt to suck in their bellies so I could get through. There was a point in this treacherous exit where I was literally sandwiched and stuck between two ladies in the door. It was a Mary Anna sandwich. Finally with some quick maneuvering I managed to squeeze out of the sandwich and plant my feet on the forgiving platform below. One of the large ladies gave me a sympathetic "Sorry mama!" Once again, to end the hate cycle I replied "No problem. Have a nice day!"

The walk from the trolley to work was successful.

That was wayyyy too much physical contact for me this early in the morning. I need a shower.

Until next time...

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