Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I need to find the road less traveled




I've been down this road many times and I know exactly where it leads.....

I'm a creature of habit and a creature of comfort. Like how my dog sidles up beside me knowing that I will inevitably scratch his ass for him. He knows that if he stands there long enough, I'll buckle down and give him exactly what he wants. Then he looks at me with his aging furry face and such joy in his eyes. After all, his ass isn't a spot he can reach too well.

Creature of habit. Creature of comfort. I know what this road leads to. It isn't a big mystery. But the beauty of the scenery is what gets me. I look around and feel a sense of adventure and joy even though I've been down this way before. I feel beautiful, like myself and incredibly secure down this road. Its a dead end, though. By the time I reach the end, I'm so incredibly content. Then a storm arises and I have to tread through the muddy street cold and alone. I'm always traveling back the way I came alone. The scenery fades into memory and I just focus on getting back on track.

I suppose I'm just going in circles if I keep coming into contact with this road. My heart beats excitedly and my breath just catches in my throat. I stand and pause at the road's beginning. Then I take a few steps onto the road to see if I still get the same feeling. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. If I'm really not certain, I walk a few feet onto the road. I stand and wait and look around at the magic around me. Then I turn around and walk back out to the main way. I stand at the entrance again, waiting to see if the road beckons me back. That road is addicting and always leads to trouble but I just love going down it.

Right now that road is not beckoning me and that is for the better. I still can't help standing there, rooted to my spot waiting for the road to call me back.

I need to keep walking and never look back. But where does one find the strength to do such a thing?

Until next time...

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